Sunday, October 10, 2010

Proud To Be A Knudsenite.


In the beginning there was darkness, and verily did God look to Old Knudsen the basest and most vile of his Angels and he said, "Old Knudsen, I'm fucking stumped man, what goes well with darkness?" Old Knudsen scratched under his cap and thought, "good arse I thought you were dead" he said as he lifted his leg to let off a heavenly fart, "what about light?" God frowned and replied, "I've been putting on the pounds a bit and darkness is so slimming", getting frustrated Old Knudsen doth said, "ok ya big nelly how about a bit of light and a bit of dark, like Guinness but not so minging? you'll no doubt lose the belly soon, a fit lad like yerself. " God was greatly pleased and made it so and took the credit, little did he know it would cause things to grow then he'd have to invent humans to mow the grass and giraffes to eat the tree leaves, but Old Knudsen knew, hes a canny smart Ulster/Scots Angel.

In helping with creating the world and designing weemen's tits God gave Old Knudsen, Knudsen Nation which contains the most fair of all the people, well the most deluded at least.

Put yer name in the comments below to be considered for Knudsen Nation. If accepted (I'm not picky) you will be honoured with a post containing a few nice words and a link if you have somewhere to link too.
One day the spaceship from Bitorian shall cum and beam us up and we shall be immortal.
Some images of Knudsenites are an approximation for security purposes or how I imagine them to look.
The nation is only open to those I know and slighty trust or those who gain my trust, I can't go letting spies and such into it.

21 comments:

Fat Sparrow said...

What? I have to apply, like a commoner or something?! And to think I gave you your start in blogging life. Sheesh.

savannah said...

wondering if i should read the rules first, sugar...aww, fuckit..here i am...do with me as you will.

Xmichra said...

concider me deluded :)

Xmichra said...

OBB.. i made you a badge :)

Barry Lawrence said...

An Ulster-Scots-cross, eh? Any hobbies apart from fighting?
Knudsen, you and your mate God basically invented work....that's what you're saying, isn't it? Never forget that on the seventh day he rested......and that was down to a work to rule in the old Garden of Eden organised by the union led by Pither1-who-begat-Pither2-who-begat-Pither3-to-the power-N. Roll on Sunday.

Old Knudsen said...

Fighting isn't a hobby its a joy. Don't let those Jews tell you the 7th day was Saturday they are a trouble making lot. Pither 1 the angel of trade unions, speaking of trouble makers, a commie too no doubt.

Barry Lawrence said...

....a pinko, leftie, Thatcher-hating, alive-before-materialist-desensitised-thick-juveniles-were-told-unions-were-bad-and-they- swallowed-it Commie, please - and proud!

Old Knudsen said...

I thought Thatcher was hot. I don't like to be told what to do and Unions love to tell people what to do,especially when you don't have a choice about joining. Communism doesn't work, good in theory but really its so over.

Barry Lawrence said...

Thatcher WILL be hot - when she fries in Hell! I know the weather can be cruel up there but....you been out lately? Closed shops no longer legal - course you gotta choice!
Shame you don't like being told what to do - those petty "no murder", "no buggering farm animals" and "no setting fire to public buildings" rules must be a real pain to you.
Communism "so over"? Still going strong around the world, despite sanctions from petrified capitalists......and admit it, you read your cliched "Communism doesn't work" line in The Sun or The Daily Star - no, no, don't tell me, in the Daily Mail!!
Concentrate on burning visitors in those whicker men - who cares that the police tell you not to. I know you don't like being told what not to do so get weaving and strike those matches anyway.
Tory Boys? I shit 'em! Ciao, mwa, mwa!

Old Knudsen said...

Union peer pressure tell me that doesn't exist anymore.If I want to bugger a farm animal to death then I should be allowed as they are all asking for it.Communism works as much as democracy does, it has its day in the sun but fails due to abuse, look at the USSR and even China with its capitalist leanings. I only read the Sun for Hagar and the tits, a fine newspaper.You shit Tory boys? maybe a stool softener is needed, not too much or Ken Livingstone will come sliding out.

Old Knudsen said...

Well that was short lived, I see my nation link came doon, ah well some just aren't cut out for it, try to get over Thatcher,its a dead horse.

Dx said...

Unions, Gods and Pithers aside, sign me up. Can I run for president?

Prunella Jones said...

Since you are buddies with God could you please have a word with him about smiting George Bush? Oh and if he could give Cheney the Job treatment that would be nice too. The American people would be quite grateful for your assistance with this matter.

Old Knudsen said...

DX we don't run in the nation, too much effort, see you after the background checks and blood tests, being Scottish I have a feeling you'll pass.

prunella jones you get the government you deserve besides they are so good for my blog posts, a vastly entertaining double act.

Anonymous said...

Hey?? what?? Oh sorry,did I tread on something? What am I doing here? Can someone direct me to the toilets please...

INNER VOICES said...

ha! i even met your 101 random facks challenge. what can i say other than knudsenite me today. i may be from the staes but i can read for fucks sake, can't spell but i speak my mind anyway....

FirstNations said...

the bull moose are calling and the weasels are not and the wicked wind whispers and moans. hand me a hot dog with extra hot cause i'm hot to trot, apricot! yes it's bigger than the both of us
i give. i surrender. i am your toy. consider me bitten between the eyes, your robin-first-of-spring, your straw dolly, a'mare, a'mare, a'mare! I'll leave your golden limb a dangling on the rugged oak and row the boat ashore, allelujia. make mine a double and don't spare the horses, shaken not stirred, I am your mighty mo, the evillest of kneivels and i'm here to leap your gorge and stick in your craw. yeah i'm buff and i'm tuff with my afro puff. I've a cast on my stump and i'm ready to hump so take out those teeth and assume the position (opposed, 3 to 1, 1 abstaining)




anyway yeah, i'm in.

The Mistress said...

I thought this was an exclusive club 'til Eddie Waring and First Nations came along.

Some Goofy Woman said...

No way am I doing the 101 thing, and fuck you I enjoyed tagging you. I think I'm too good for your club.

But I can't be sure till I'm innit. Let me know if you need a good pic, mmkay? ::sycophantic smile::

-AD

Old Knudsen said...

I knew you were too weak to do the 101 things, don't worry I shall not judge you on yer failure, mmkay? ::sycophantic smile::

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!